You are in a privileged position. Someone has confided in you one of her deepest, most painful secrets. Someone has taken the risk that you are trustworthy. We believe that lies are a major force in keeping women in abusive relationships: lies about who they are, their value, their future, about God, about men. But someone has decided to bring the lies to the surface by sharing with you – at least just enough to cry for help. Here are some suggestions as you walk with her:

1. Support her in her effort to understand her situation (and educate yourself about domestic abuse, if needed!). Show her the information provided on the help yourself page and the resources page. Assist her in obtaining any books that she wants or printing information off of the Internet. You should offer to keep the information at your office or other location for her to read there if she is concerned about her abuser finding this information.
   
2. Offer to help her contact any people who may be of assistance to her, such as a local pastor, counselor, or shelter professional. Visit our resources page for nationwide domestic violence resources. Offer the use of your phone and to receive messages for her.
   
3. Pray for her and affirm that God loves her and is for her.
   
4. Click below for information on helping others.
   

Respecting Self-Defined Needs http://incestabuse.about.com/od/familyfriends/a/sdneeds.htm

How You Can Help
http://incestabuse.about.com/cs/familyfriends/a/howtohelp.htm

How Can I Help a Friend or Family Member Who is Being Abused?
http://www.ndvh.org/help/fandf.html